So here it is, the truth in black and white…my family and friends know nothing about the story I am sharing with you today. I have been unable to utter a single word about the situation with the exception of a select few and even that was a challenge.
Firstly, let me take a step back, a moment to rewind.
About two years ago, I accidently became a writer after I started writing articles on Linked In after a tumultuous break-up. The emotion was flowing out of me in an unbelievable fashion. I began writing articles, which then turned into writing songs day and night. I would be wide awake in the middle of the night overflowing with inspiration to write songs, sometimes for days on end.
One day, Joel Brown approached me on Linked In and asked if I would write for Addicted2Success, which I was super excited to do so. My mind has one track ‘Dream Big’, so I did. I reached out to one of the world’s most premium writing platforms, fortunately, it was a process that paid off.
With all my heart, I can honestly say that I have never felt so proud to work for a company. Being asked to work with their team was one of the happiest days of my entire life.
Fast forward to that fateful day late last year, when I was getting ready for my day ahead. At the time, I was blissfully happy and completely unaware of what was about to unfold. My editor messaged me to have a ‘chat’ and I immediately felt sick to the stomach as I felt the colour immediately drain from my face. I could tell something wasn’t right yet I did not want to believe it and instead repeated positive thoughts in my head to no avail.
Instead of a personal ‘chat’ I was promptly cut off from the system and received an email explaining our relationship was no longer. I was absolutely reeling – no feedback or conversations, no time to do things differently, no idea in the world how this came to be – your out! It was like being knocked over by an icy arctic wind that slammed you so hard against the wall you were knocked unconscious to the ground because you weren’t looking.
That day, shock set in, I slowly sipped my large coffee, watching the world go by. I could not utter a single word, nor could I muster a smile. There were certainly no tears nor would or could I repeat what I had just been told. This was supposed to be my ‘dream’, my purpose, this was supposed to be my source of happiness, meeting amazing people and interviewing entrepreneurs from around the world. Now what! I still had a massive list of incredible people to interview and I was already in the process of speaking to their people to organise an interview with the one and only, Ivanka Trump, the most incredible songwriter in the world, James Bay, Millionaire Mindset Author T.Harv Eker, the beautiful and courageous Robin Roberts from Good Morning America and the extraordinary talented Marie Forleo.
To my dismay, keeping this ‘secret’ all to myself and constantly running through the events of the year in my head did not serve me. If anything, it created a lack of clarity and tension that led to handling the situation very badly. My mind was racing the entire time searching for a ‘real explanation’. Sad to say, the reason stated was they believed I might have had a relationship with ‘Maserati’ as I mentioned them so much in my articles. Oh my god, if only it were true, they would have had a very ‘valid’ reason and it would be been far easier to accept.
Little did they know nor care that I am deadly serious about following the guidelines and code of ethics. To me, following the code of ethics was far more important than anything else, this opportunity was far too important to me to even think of jeopardising the relationship. Those who know me well would attest to that. I felt that I was harshly judged with no evidence and no jury to source the truth or to hear my side of the story.
I will admit wholeheartedly that it most certainly would be a massive dream come true if I were in a relationship with Maserati. I am insanely in love with cars as they represent ‘freedom’. My absolute favourite word and what I live to feel on any given day.
Looking back now with fresh eyes, it obviously was not meant to continue. For during that time, my health rapidly deteriorated, my relationships with family and friends were fractured, my social life almost non-existent and I was working alone. I had to accept the fact that I had officially hit rock bottom.
That said, I wouldn’t change a single thing, as I was fortunate enough to experience those magical moments speaking with incredibly talented entrepreneurs and I absolutely loved waking up at 4am with my coffee in one hand and pen in the other, writing articles and liaising with my editor.
Sometimes, you think or perhaps you truly want to believe in your heart that you are happy instead you find out that there is another way, a new and improved situation and opportunities on the horizon, a new road map to follow.
Now I know it is about following your heart and trusting that the universe will lead you where you are supposed to go. It is taking the time to remember that whatever leaves you, is simply not meant for you.